Lessons from the Library

As you sit in the library look to your left, then look to your right. For most of those people around you, this is the first time they've touched a library all year. I honestly don't get it. Does the library have magic powers? Or is it more likely that it provides validation to their haze of regret from the week before?

The first thing I've noticed is that I lose knowledge from sitting in the library. When I begin working in the library I am a veritable Don Draper, but when I leave I'm more like the less popular Marx brother (the comedian, not the communist). I hear bits and pieces of Math, Econ, and Science work, all subjects I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, being done and when it's all said and done, I know less about life then I did before. I'm already at a disadvantage, seeing as my girlfriend is a physics major and therefore already better at being a collegiate human than me, but I feel even more out of my element (Donny!) when I remember that among these numbers and figures and hypotheses, there I am working on a project for Theatre. It's like Shakespeare hanging out with Einstein, Galileo, and an actual molecule (The other guys don't actually like the molecule because he is kind of rude, but he usually brings Taco Bell for everybody). The only difference is that I'm sure Shakespeare wasn't sitting in a small study table alone with chicken nuggets and an energy drink attempting to connect Sondheim and Tarantino, but the analogy stands. Lesson learned: Never let anyone actually see the content of what I'm working on, and save all files as "Science Bonanza."

I have also noticed that "Library Day" is almost the same as casual day. I saw a person in full pajamas. Remember in the Indiana Jones films when he would walk, or careen, through a library and everyone was in three piece suits and bowties? The ladies had on nice dresses and the gentlemen wore spectacles. Today the theme is sweatpants, Greek tanks, and a beautiful combination of socks with slip-on Adidas sandals for most of the fourth floor library crowd. I at least put on actual pants today, simply because I knew I was going to be in public. I guess I like to look like I didn't just get done filming an episode of "The Real World: Crap That Final Is At 4." Lessons learned: Leave the PINK sweatpants at home and claim that everything belongs in a museum.

The library can be a place of studying or a place where your hopes and aspiration go to end it all. For me it is a refuge from distraction. I have learned that my attention span goes from "Almost done with this paper" to "This is boooooooring" in a matter of seconds. I have tried curing it with music (which becomes even more distracting), food ( which becomes expensive), and just ignoring the urge to say "Forget it, I'm going to play video games" (which is usually what happens). Lesson learned: Libraries are no match for my superior ability to get nothing done.

So as you have read, these are just a few lessons that I bring to you, dear reader, as you quest toward that 4.0 and the eternal fountain of academic immortality. This is also me procrastinating doing anything productive.